plushaeusrumpified | Seven Smuppets; ANONYMOUS TEXT

OWNER OF RUMP: Masato Hijirikawa

GENDER OF RUMP: Male

RATING OF RUMP: ▪▪▪▪▫

REVIEW OF RUMP

Whoa there, errbody stop what you're doing and get a load of that ass. You can stare at it a minute, it's okay. I can wait.

You finally finished staring? I don't blame you if you need a few more minutes, but the review has to carry on at some point, so I'm just gonna go ahead and talk about what a fine piece of meat that is Masato Hijirikawa's badonkadonk. Masato, either you have some damn fine genes, or you've found a plastic surgeon capable of doing some really goddamn fine ass lifts, because it's been a long while since I've seen such a plump, tight ass. Keep it up and you ain't gonna have to worry about saggy cheeks for a damn long time. You might wanna consider botox to keep your face as tight as your ass, though. A wrinkly face with a smooth ass is a weird combination.

I don't know if you're a top or a bottom, but an ass like that is definitely bottom material. It's the perfect kind of ass that you just wanna latch onto and then pound into. Like damn, I bet it jiggles in the hottest way. Not the fat, nasty way that reminds you of jello, but the sexy, bootylicious kind of way. This is all pure speculation, though, but I'm pretty damn good at booty speculations. Basically what I'm saying is this would make a great porn butt. I'm not saying you should go into porn or anything, but I AM saying that you have the butt of a pornstar and you should own it. Make of that what you will, but I think 'Masato gets stuffed!' would make a great porn title. Just throwing that out there.

I think the only thing this butt needs is some nice, tighter pants to really show it off. I mean, when you've got a butt like that, you want everybody to know about it. Trust me, I know. So as my gift to you, I'm sending you a package with some tight booty shorts, just in time for Summer. Really, the pants are the only reason I'm docking a point off, and let me assure you it pains me to do so. My chest physically hurts right now, because baby, you deserve a 5. Maybe you'll get a 5 in a follow up, if I get a pic of you in those shorts. Until then? My final rating is 4 outta 5.

That's all for this month's RTR. If you enjoyed it, be sure to check back next month, 'cuz I'll be rating another rump for all my booty bros out there. Stay bootylicious, y'all.

ADDITIONAL RUMP NOTES
❏ WHAT A BOOTY ❏ SHOULD CONSIDER A CAREER IN LAP DANCING ❏ I BET IT'S HAIRLESS ❏ BOUNCE A COIN OFF THAT AND IT'LL BOUNCE BACK AND TAKE OUT YOUR EYE ❏ I WANNA USE IT AS A PILLOW ❏ SHAKE SHAKE SHAKE SHAKE SHAKE IT ❏ DIP IT LOW ❏ PICK IT UP SLOW ❏ POP TA POP TA POP THAT THANG ❏ YOU KNOW HOW TO MAKE A MAN SAY OH

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

... what the heck.

I see the ass of Masato Hijirikawa has inspired great eloquence within you.

at least it didn't inspire me to do a post like this. there are far better targets than that sorry ass, you know.

[Uh, Ren, that's not the main problem here.]

[At first Masato is just trying to figure out what the hell this is that has his name on it... give him a moment...]]

[Oh god is that a picture of his butt--]

[And the fact that someone is around to actually get those up-close shots of his rear just kind of kill him a little inside. Because they said his name and that's his butt and there are all these sexually-undertoned comments... NONE OF THIS IS DECENT WHY IS THIS EVEN HAPPENING!?]

[At one point, Masato's brain shuts off, and he's not even done reading it yet. Just the fact that it exists, and all the extra comments... He literally cannot comprehend anything in this post right now.

MAYBE IF HE JUST SETS HIS GEAR DOWN, IT'LL CEASE TO EXIST.]

[NOPE IT'S STILL THERE.]

[Okay time to just confront the feed at the source. As a man. As a man who's not perturbed by such disturbing incidences such as someone putting his ass on a feed for rating. No, this doesn't bother Masato at all; nothing he can't handle. He works in showbiz; there's always something out there in the world of entertainment.]

[Except the moment he even manages to turn the video feed on, his face just glows bright red and he has the most trouble finding words.]

T-this... is... it's highly indecent.

What the fuck is wrong with you?

[Oh Jesus this is both the best and worst thing.]

Thumbs are waaaaaay way up for this!
Are there any hints for the next posterior you will be reviewing?
I don't know if I can handle the suspense for next month!
But I'll certainly be keeping an eye out for this, Anon.
You've got a fan in me.

[ WHAT THE -- ]

ITS NOT THAT GREAT.....

....so do you go around looking and fantasying about people's butts?

so i'm guessin you have a lot of free time

You know, I think the problem here is that you're jealous of his ass. If you really want a booty as fine as his, I suggest you start doing some butt exercises. Or ask Masato what plastic surgeon he uses. Either one.

Oh man I know, right? Anything featuring your ass should be downright illegal.

What, a guy can't appreciate somebody's ass? There's something wrong with YOU if you can't appreciate dat butt.

Glad you approve, baby mama. I'm not sure whose booty I'ma be reviewing next, but if you got any suggestions, you're free to rub 'em all over me.

Edited 2013-06-17 01:24 (UTC)

Yes. Yes it is. You gotta be jealous of that posterior if you're denying the beautiful majesty of its plump, round globes.

Yes, I do. It's one of the simplest pleasures in life, don't you think? I love me some booty.

Actually nah, I'm pretty goddamn busy. But life would be dull if I couldn't take time out of the day to appreciate a nice buttock.

oh, i get it.
a man of rigid priorities, right?
it's a weird one, but probably not the weirdest out there
i've gotta wonder what's actually keeping people busy out here
in video game land though
seems like the place is pretty chill
except for the last week. but i'm told that was an exception.

don't you have any other hobbies?

[There goes his soul, right out of his ears.]

T-that-- I...

My backside is nothing to be marveled at!

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Seven Smuppets; ANONYMOUS TEXT

text

Forever anonymous

no subject

1/I'LL STOP EVENTUALLY

2/also ftr that is Masa's buttbuddy's rump but for the sake of THIS POST IS GREAT

3/im crey

4/OH MY GOD I JUST STILL CANNOT

5/summary: WHY

6/okay I'm almost done I promise

7/DONE [and video]

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no subject

I'm glad you approve 8D also anon text on this end forever

[Anon Text]

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SOBBING ON EVERYTHING permavid here